First of all thank you to the person who is reading this (if ever any!) and I promise this is not going to be some blog of a teenage girl crying about her silly breakups. Yes! I too had been through that phase but this blog is about my thoughts which are sometimes so hard to put out there as a known entity because you might end up getting judged for who you are (as if you have committed a thoughtcrime – from the book 1984). Careers, relations are now days based on perceptions (I am not saying anything about whether it is good or bad) and right now I cannot put my name on all this but someday when I will be courageous enough – I’ll definitely do it.
A little background though so that we can better connect – I am an Indian girl, aged 24 just completed my education (B.Tech. and MBA). Blah blah.. PS: I never have the energy to engage in small talks.
Now why I needed to start a blog. So until now I used to think, “I would never share my thoughts with anyone.” Human being in its most abstract sense is a bundle of his insecurities, fears, disappointments, hopes, struggles, guilty pleasures, dreams, nightmares, ambitions; and if you share them with others – you expose yourself by showing too much of yourself. I always ran away from this. There are various reasons behind this; there was always one reason or the other to run away from such opportunities to bond (as some of you may call it). Sometimes it was my breakup, then it was the incident when my friends ditched me and started bitching about me, then my trust issues, my own insecurities, my inferiority complex, low self esteem, body shaming, my surroundings, the people I met…
Because of all this I just cannot let anyone see through me, I cannot let my thoughts to be heard by people who are not capable enough to understand that how important these are to me. And it is not disagreement that I fear but the insensitivity that people show.
And No! I do not crib about all this day and night and this blog is not an outlet for crying over my heartbreaks or career failures or about some people. I just want to break my shackles and present my thinking and this is the medium that I have picked up. This I believe would bring clarity to my thoughts and I will be better able to understand myself. Disclaimer: With time you might find me refuting my own theories, please bear with me – a girl is trying to find herself.
Just one last thing, if you (again, if anyone ever end up on this blog) too have the same thoughts or even different ones like about my grammatical errors (I can hear Woohoo from grammar Nazis!!) or about my writing style or how weird I am or if you disagree with something I wrote – literally anything then do share them with me through the comments.
Wish me luck!! 😀