Body Shaming !

Body shaming is a concept well known to almost everyone today.It is so common and intricately threaded into our day to day lives that mostly we don’t even notice it. For example, we have a very popular television show – The Kapil Sharma Show – where a man called Kapil Sharma is the host and conducts humorous interviews with celebrities. He has a team of very talented comedians, mostly males, who dress up as females and play the female character equally well. One of the male (dressed as female) who is fat is always the basis of jokes revolving around overweight.  Until now, out of all the celebrities who came there for interviews, I have never seen anyone objecting to this body shaming. This is just one example. There are so many instances around us where we allow such things to happen and they later negatively affect us or a close one.

On the positive side, there are celebrities, fitness enthusiasts who fight against it and I just keep wishing why didn’t it happen when I was a child.

I was not obese in my childhood but gained a lot of weight after puberty due to a very common female disease called PCOD. Whenever I used to go out to a shop, or in a garden – there were always people staring, calling me names, making jokes, commenting. As a child, it was heart breaking for me. I used to come home and cry all by myself locked in a bathroom. But I was still satisfied that atleast my parents love me. Until, one day, a typical Indian aunty said to my parents, “She is looking like your sister.” And my own parents called me fat. My father yelled at mom and sarcastically said, “Please make more sandwiches for her now. Please make her drink two more glasses of milk.” I was devastated then and there. I went to the bathroom, but instead of crying this time, I started punching myself on the stomach – just in case it gets reduced. And I must have punched myself really hard, because next morning my skin was all blue. I couldn’t tell that to my parents and I guess that was the time when I first lost connection with them. After that, wherever I went I just tried to hide myself, nerve participated in any game or cultural event, never talked to too many people. I lost my confidence, my identity. No one around me knew I even existed.

It continued till I turned 20. When I was in college second year, I started running and reduced weight. I have always been a morning person. I love the morning breeze, the light, silence, birds, the smell of purity and no people at all – anywhere (people turn into nocturnal creatures during college years).  So, I casually started morning walks which turned into jogging then running and in no time I started losing weight. I am still in love with running though.

But what really scares me is that my future children are going to be part of a society which values – your body dimensions, your weight, height – much more than your dreams, accomplishments, ambition, IQ, emotional quotient. When I open Quora to answer questions about fitness, I see questions like “How can I reduce 30 kgs in 15 days?” or “How can I reduce just my hips?”. I mean that is ridiculous. People need to understand that we are much more than just our physical appearance. There are so many companies who thrive on our insecurities. In teenagers, it is even cause of anxiety, depression and suicidality.

No one else is going to fight for us. It is our responsibility that we should feel no less in any manner due to others’ actions or words. I lost my most precious childhood days due to this and I do not want anyone else end up like this.

If any of you ever had an experience around body shaming and you want to share – I am all ears. 🙂

First Blog Post

First of all thank you to the person who is reading this (if ever any!) and I promise this is not going to be some blog of a teenage girl crying about her silly breakups. Yes! I too had been through that phase but this blog is about my thoughts which are sometimes so hard to put out there as a known entity because you might end up getting judged for who you are (as if you have committed a thoughtcrime – from the book 1984). Careers, relations are now days based on perceptions (I am not saying anything about whether it is good or bad) and right now I cannot put my name on all this but someday when I will be courageous enough – I’ll definitely do it.

A little background though so that we can better connect – I am an Indian girl, aged 24 just completed my education (B.Tech. and MBA). Blah blah..  PS: I never have the energy to engage in small talks.

Now why I needed to start a blog. So until now I used to think, “I would never share my thoughts with anyone.” Human being in its most abstract sense is a bundle of his insecurities, fears, disappointments, hopes, struggles, guilty pleasures, dreams, nightmares, ambitions; and if you share them with others – you expose yourself by showing too much of yourself. I always ran away from this. There are various reasons behind this; there was always one reason or the other to run away from such opportunities to bond (as some of you may call it). Sometimes it was my breakup, then it was the incident when my friends ditched me and started bitching about me, then my trust issues, my own insecurities, my inferiority complex, low self esteem, body shaming, my surroundings, the people I met…

Because of all this I just cannot let anyone see through me, I cannot let my thoughts to be heard by people who are not capable enough to understand that how important these are to me. And it is not disagreement that I fear but the insensitivity that people show.

And No! I do not crib about all this day and night and this blog is not an outlet for crying over my heartbreaks or career failures or about some people. I just want to break my shackles and present my thinking and this is the medium that I have picked up. This I believe would bring clarity to my thoughts and I will be better able to understand myself. Disclaimer: With time you might find me refuting my own theories, please bear with me – a girl is trying to find herself.

Just one last thing, if you (again, if anyone ever end up on this blog) too have the same thoughts or even different ones like about my grammatical errors (I can hear Woohoo from grammar Nazis!!) or about my writing style or how weird I am or if you disagree with something I wrote – literally anything then do share them with me through the comments.

Wish me luck!! 😀